Nirvana, recompense

Between the ones and zeros,
lingering within a yellowing sort of cellophane haze,
a whole number is born, expanding the horizons,
colliding, smashing into particles of thought,
tells a story:

between here and there exists a place,
a certain locale - a state of mind,
a kind of blind metaphor for peace,
an abstraction of space, or merely the misstep
of an old man's clumsy gait

in between right and wrong i found myself
fumbling in a fugue, a fog that had not lifted,
it spread its arms about me, though never
quite touched me, then into nothingness it became
saw-dusted, a memory

and i in limbo (some time was spent)
i yearned for the feeling of not being kissed,
i, not seen yet somehow sensed,
i, not alone but always missed,

in a crowd...

i am the dream you had on the eve of your death,
(the one that woke you, compelled you to write these words in haste)
of a smallish blonde boy who spoke in tongues
and whose flesh begat an emptiness,
a wet dripping kind of hollow mess,
reflected in a pool of his own benevolence,

did u come here to find this - this nirvana, this recompense?

Beast, my god, beloved

Oh my god,

Oh my god:

rhapsody reproach me
rhapsody, the engine churns
collapsing me, boasting
"I am boundless, father", learns

that what was not there has become,
having stepped away from the faceless many
into light, shapeless, changing
recognizing now, a sentient being
bleeding blackness on perception
of it's form-enraptured seedling

and so it seems, we could not hear what we had never heard
and in this, our fear was a bit absurd

but now upon knowing
the existence of it's flowing,
can we actually see this thing for which we have no simple words?

In the summer reversed, motel

Make it feel good
make it feel good
make it feel good
make it feel good

i am salted
i am oceans
i am falling
i am frozen

make it feel good
make it feel good
i am salted
i am frozen

out my window
i've a view
of a car
parked with you

make it feel good
i am oceans
make it feel good
i am falling

sun splashing
wet the pavement
motel crashes
winter backwards

i am falling
i am falling
i am falling
why aren't you?

Porcelain priest

I wonder if the look upon my face expresses the life that i waste
when confessing to the porcelain priest, my shiny dumb face
materializes, pushes a teardrop into bile, and no it hasn't yet
been awhile, since the last time we met.

I wonder if this smile can hide
all the lonliness i brush aside,
for surely these teeth are a sign that my sins
are tunnelling their way out again.

I wonder if i am alone and whether or not i am to blame
for all the shrapnel left over from all the explosions in my brain
and i wonder if i am hollowing out my insides to start anew
to create a space for a kinder, gentler you.

And so, i wonder if you can even hear me,
simultaneously sensing, that in the end it doesn't really matter if you do.

She sloth valhalla

Words streaming across the room screaming she sloth valhalla she ride the night her merriment cannot replace the effects of a truth that careless hands break defenders of old lands rape earth villify turn truth into lies a smile sometimes will hide the detritus of our genocides break sloth the aftermath is our bullet to mainline crush fear leave all too clear the tracks of our shameful ways stifle biology in the wake of our days to put forth the misconception that we are not animal by design she sloth valhalla now having gained some distance she has been forsaken having once awakened now bowing down to the illumination of a truth that is hard to take that we might be incapable of restraining our human love she the sloth the truth not wasted on the youth our love for one spells disaster for the masses and in her candor she saw certain chances to break loose from the branches tied taut to tree dances in shadows fog reaches blessing those who love all while she sloth valhalla remains.