Stint

Twisting into an empty wind
my mind
a helicopter
hovers
floats
as dusk
settles in

then

a scattering of particles,
slowly grows
marks my steady approach
as vacant thoughts release
fear
and a voice through
a drifting fog
announces
"all clear"

now

grounded
i am drowning
in time spent alone
waxing poetic,
forever recounting
a less energetic stint,
or a period of cool evenings
some years ago,
when i learned how to kiss you,
when i learned i could miss you
and in the end i found...
i can miss you
even as i kiss you

"it's time to go."

Among my static

A few notes gently falling
describe another place
where you dwell
in dreams
a million miles away

sliding, slipping,
never content,
never staying,
not in one place,
not for too long,
and never satisfied,
nor ever worried
that this reality can't give you
what you want

and it’s me you remind me of,
a reluctant breeze that caressed your ear
on a fractured, swollen day
as you fumbled, frowning,
for your keys
in a harried sort of way

but i see now
my wind is no match
for the wall of sound that
breaks forth from your lips,
full and round,
and the way that i’ve found
to make the ground
seem a bit more stable,
a kind of cement table,
among my static
where our waves are not
water bound

but distance is a demon
a burden you support
convenient enough
at times
to keep us apart
but i don’t want to play
anymore

i want you to experience
being alone.

Destroyer II

Unafraid
i stripped away
the flesh that clothed circumstance,
and the rhyme that held my world in check,
curiously began to lose its place

(i had become I)

and pulling you into my arms
i held you there
a flower
had you become

and those who claimed
that this would somehow
be strange
drifted away
having curtained the coma,
a sentimental veil that protected us
from the blinding, burning light of judgment,
the usual light of day

and folding into the boiling bubbling sky,
that is nighttime in this rural town,
i remember to remind myself that
i will always seek to break everyone
except for you.

Coin

Fourteen seconds into this
i searched for a word that never came
the only thing left
for me to do
was
break the screen
to make it seem
that i could alter
reality
was
plant the knife
in fertile hands
where a penance became
eternity

or fourteen seconds into this
i’d found a new philosophy
i’d opened a wound, apparently
and God, there,
spoke of broken tunes
of notes unnoticed
of…

and signing below
in time
encoded signature
unloaded caricature
of man-exploded
polygons

but your geometry
cannot capture clearly
or sequent nearly
enough emotion
to fractal this notion
that i have blent
these murderous hands
into trivial lands just
to please you out of
the life i’d presume
to squeeze you
but i cannot make you die
you imaginary coin.

Untitled

Darkness is a bullet
a friend i’ve never met
a comfortable place i’m sure
undoubtedly romanticized

but i long for release
for painless finality
acquired fatality
a different state

and so

i’m glad they never really
knew me
that i never really
let them in
for the distance i’ve maintained
...

a memory on the wind.