synapse in the brain cracked again
communicate in brief with the soul, a game
i played as a child, asked for god today
i was three years old when i drew the blade
of grass i asked from where it came
how beautiful it could be in rain
and id never guessed that id ever blame
my lack of existence
on those strangers who never reply when i say hi
as we passed on the street
i said, "hi"
she did not reply
i said, "hey"
he did not reply
i asked, "how are you?"
and you ignored me
and i go home and i question my existence
and why it is when i speak - they don’t respond
i roll on the floor and tear at my skin
because the pain makes me feel something anything, again
because you choose not to reply to a simple harmless greeting
im harmless, i am so harmless and full of love
but i can never seem to simply exist with you people
im not going to hurt you
im not going to kill you
im not going to rape you
im not going to ...
im not going to exist, am i?
whats the point?
im angry and im tired and i want to sleep forever
but i have chosen to be awake to live through this horror
that you perpetuate
and i refuse to sleep
so if i seem somewhat tired you’ll know why
i hide the weight of your unreasonable fear of me
in my haggard hapless smile
