If i could, were i'd love

I wish i could stop time, just for a bit
so that i might be able to look into your beautiful face,
to study its form, its curves, its splendor

i’d like to feel god in your hair
and cry, with you unaware

i have seen you in a hundred faces
and longed for contact, yet you would never understand
my need to glorify your existence,
it’s not what we do – it’s unacceptable

my benevolence can never be proven, and this
is why i cannot approach you and rejoice in your beauty

this is not my home, these are not my people.

There

Just behind the curtain, the invisible curtain,
where if I move my hand through the air, I might just catch you there
watching me from an incomprehensible distance.

Just behind the fog of this reality
there is another place calling me
I have seen it in my dreams,
and its light and its hue are heavenly blue.

Why do I suffer here? I want to know this love that
I cannot seem to wrap my fingers around.
I want to slip through the cracks and fall away into this place -
I want God to show his face!
I need to know his name so that I can justify this pain.